Two weeks ago I had my fifth wedding anniversary. Our 3.5-year-old daughter joined us for the big date. She and I put on floral dresses for the special night out. We invaded Outback and my husband tried his first blooming onion. My favorite part of the night wasn't the steak, lobster, martini, or even Lucy's shark Shirley Temple. It was introducing Lucy to wearing lip stick out for the first time. She stared at her pout in the fancy makeup mirror and said "Mommy, I'm so pretty." And I agreed. She most certainly was.
As any woman knows, the girl is stunning without lipstick, too. But the pop of color symbolized something more. The night was elevated. She felt beautiful. Her look was hard to miss.
Who Will You Wear Red Lips For?
I experienced something else fairly extraordinary last week. Indie Bollman invited me to the Red Lips for the Ladies inaugural event on August 15th. I had a vague idea that the group focused on women helping women, and that I should wear lipstick to the momentous event.
At a basic level, the group was inspired by one woman, Indie, who wore lipstick on the toughest workdays. It was her personal beacon - or warpaint - to get past whatever difficulty she would face when she got to the office. Her friend Joanna knew that this symbolic gesture was a bit of a red herring to redirect the attention from the struggle. Indie could feel strength by adorning a bold color - but Joanna knew it could also be a sign that there was a struggle happening under the surface. When Indie lost her job, Joanna supported her friend, telling her, "I'm wearing red lips for you."
And now, they want to do this for other women, to make it possible to wear red lips for more ladies.
Lipstick Jungle
Red Lips for the Ladies had their kick-off at a space owned by The Baldwin Group (thank you, Chriss Spires!). Women of all ages mingled and noted each other's festive lip colors. We enjoyed wine, mocktails, fruit, cookies, and charcuterie. I ran into a coworker from 5 years ago. I met a few new folks, and we made our way to the conference room. The ladies running the group were introduced. We played a BINGO icebreaker, where the winners received a signature red lipstick. Later, raffle winners were announced, and I was lucky enough to leave with my very own brand new #RedLipsForTheLadies tee.
We learned about the founders, Indie Bollman, Joanna Sisler, Rose Hampton, and Lauren McDonald, and each of their roles. They had responsibilities like marketing the group, planning events, collecting data about members wanting to volunteer or receive help, and pairing up members. Each brought a special skill-set and passion to the project.
At its most basic level, the group focuses on women helping women with career transitions. Individuals can request assistance and other individuals are invited to volunteer time, talent, and energy to support one another. Someone with resume expertise could help a job seeker polish their resume. Someone with interviewing or networking skills might offer practice or direction. Someone with free time might simply join another member for coffee. And, while all those things are wonderful and practical, the most powerful aspect of this movement was what was happening right in that room.
Vulnerability Unveiled
Indie invited women to share their stories of unexpected vocational changes, job loss, lay-offs, and sudden life changes. And women - professional, strong, adorned with red lips - did just that. Women shared vulnerable experiences where their confidence, livelihood, talents, dreams, and drive were threatened. It was an open forum.
I felt a mix of emotions. This reminded me in little ways of the zeitgeist of so many other community events - a yoga class, yelp event, mental health support group, bible study, work meeting, or team sport. But it was also unique. It was a safe space. And not to say that other groups are male-dominated and flawed. Or that women are always prone to attacks and being put at risk. But rather, this place celebrates commonalities, differences, and being openly vulnerable. To show vocational weakness, fear of the marketplace, any lack of confidence in one's abilities is so often a dangerous thing. Even hinting at personal financial struggles - related to job changes - is often a socially destructive move.
Here, women were able to talk, laugh, cry, and identify with one another. It was truly a beautiful thing.
If this movement progresses, more women in Jacksonville will be able to find gainful employment, emotional support, mentors, new skills, and hope. Even if this is primarily a space to be heard, that is extraordinary on its own.
Disclaimer For (Primarily) Men:
Red lips do not always signify struggle. The use of make-up is far more complex than that. Red flags can indicate rip currents. Red lips can hint at romance. If you want to know which shade is which, you might just have to ask.
More Info:
Contact: info@redlipsfortheladies.org
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